On Being Sex Positive

In response to my 50 Shades of Grey review last Friday, I wanted to talk about a few things I've been hearing about some of the more tawdry portions of the book. The series, which I have dubbed "kink myths" will be posting over the next week and a half. There won't be anything unduly graphic, but there will be discussion of human sexuality in a frank, academic way.

As a pre-cursor to those discussions, I want to set the stage with where I'm coming from.

I'm what people in the sex-ed business like to call sex-positive. That's a term that's tossed around a lot, but generally it means that I believe that sexuality is a fundamental part of the human experience and should be dealt with as such. I support folks who want to have sex. I support sex education that covers biology, STIs, kink, sexual orientation, religion, legal standards and emotional response. I don't believe that anything is "wrong" except that which puts people in danger or is non-consensual for any party involved.  I believe that people's sexual choices are theirs to make and that they in no way infringe upon my choices or beliefs.

To flesh that out a bit, I believe that if a person wants to be sexual with two or three different people, that that is their choice. I think they need to be pro-active about their health, be extremely emotionally aware, and have excellent communication skills, but so long as no one is having sex in the streets {that would violate the consent rule, btw, because I did not consent to watch that, thankyouverymuch} its none of my business. If a person is into BDSM or extreme pain, they should do some serious research, know their partner{s} extremely well, etc, but again, none of my business. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if folks want to be married for life to one partner {most people want this!} or have traditional sex only, that's also their choice.

All of these are valid choices. While I will be discussing some things that might squick you, know that I'm not advocating for anything except being sex-positive and being well-informed on the choices YOU choose to make. I want people who have never heard of these things before to know what they're reading and to know that "safe, sane and consensual" is a universal sexual standard, kink or no kink.

In addition, I must disclose that I am NOT a certified sex educator. I have taken several sex-ed classes and done a ridiculous amount of research {both for personal and professional reasons}, but you should always consult with a physician on medical issues and physical limitations, and you should not attempt something which makes you feel uncomfortable. Of course, you should also verify any information I give you and do your own research!

You can look for the first post in my myth-busting series in a few days!